Jokes

Santa ne cafe mein ek ladki se I Love you kaha
Ladki ne chanta mara aur boli:
Kya bola?
To Santa rote hue bola:
Jab suna nahi tune to chanta kyu mara?

Bus Accident
Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.
Bahut dard ho raha hai.

Santa: Abey chup baith.
Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,
Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!

Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!

Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?

Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!

anta ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*

Santa court mein judge se:
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!

Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?
Santa: Badla.

Santa: CHADDI lelo CHADDI..
Girl: Tumhe sharm nhi aati, kya gande shabd bol rahe ho, koi dusre naam se kehte
.
.
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Santa: OK!
POND ke KHOL lelo, POND ke KHOL!

Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha

Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka lagau

anta: Dettol sabun hai?
Dukandaar: Hai,
Santa: Accha wala?
Dukndar: Ha
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na?
Dukndr: Ha
Santa: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.

n exam hall a girl to santa:
Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main likh lungi.

SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire se bola:
“The”

Santa shaadi mein khana khane gaya
Par samane Salad ka counter dekh kar wapis aa gaya
Baahar aakar bola O banta,
abhi to sabzi hi kat rahi he

Santa ke bete ka acident ho gaya
Dr: Aapke bete k pair katne padenge..

Santa ne apna sir pakda.
Dr: Kya hua
Santa: Kal hi nalayak ko chapal dilai thi.

Santa Khudkushi par speech de raha tha

Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai Gunah hai
Buzdili hai Pagalpan hai
khudkushi krne se behtar hai insan khud ko
Goli maarle!


Taxi Wala: Sir sorry
main meter chalu karna bhul gaya.
Santa: Oye praji koi gal nahi
main bhi apna batva ghar bhul gaya hu


SANTA: Rasgulle hai?
DUKANDAAR: Nahi
SANTA: Dekh lunga
DUKANDAAR (Gusse me): Kya dekh loge?
SANTA: Dusri dukaan me jakar dekh loonga!


Santa: Meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai
batao main kya karun?
Banta: Karna kya hai,
2-4 ghar aur pakad aur apna dhandha jama le.


Santa: Yaar ye bata is duniya me kitne desh hai
Banta: Are pagal is duniya me ek hi to desh hai
Jiska naam india hai
baki to sab videsh hai.


Santa ne cafe mein 1 ladki se I Love you kaha
Ladki ne chanta mara aur boli:
Kya bola?
To Santa rote hue bola:
Jab suna nahi tune to chanta kyu mara?


Santa at petrol pump
Bhai 1rs ka petrol dal do.
Salesman: Bhai itna sara petrol
dalva ke kahan jana hai?
Santa: Jana kahan hai hum
to aise hi paise urate hain!!


Santa: Yaar ab tu mujhe SMS kyu nahi karta?
Banta: Petrol mehnga ho gaya hai.
Santa: Petrol & SMS?
Banta: Easy load karvane ke liye ghar se 10km
Dur bike par jana padhta hai.


Santa to Dr.:
Meri biwi ne petrol pi liya hai aur bhag rahi hai.
Dr.: Tension mat lo
Jub
Petrol khatam ho jayega to wo aa jayegi


Santa was smoking in front of his father.
His friend- Oye papa ke samne smoking kar raha hai?
Santa- Baapu hai, koi petrol pump thodi na hai
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